Have you ever wondered what factors deter us from regularly attending Davening services?  Is it fatigue after a long day, or perhaps the result of a scheduling conflict?  I would like to suggest that the reason many of us do not come to Shul on a regular basis is because of our own religious insecurities. 

     The reality is that we are all intelligent human beings, and, nonetheless, we find ourselves sitting at services, turning the pages at high speeds, without true awareness of the beauty and significance of the words we pray.  This certainly doesn’t motivate us to approach G-d with love and commitment to Prayer. For that reason, I would like to offer a fresh perspective that may very well change the way we look at Davening altogether.

    Suppose your best friend invites you to attend a baseball game with him.  Suppose you don’t know really know the game, so you go to see what it’s all about.  As you sit through the game watching people run back and forth, throwing, hitting and catching a ball, you find yourself dazed and confused amidst the chaos. Certainly, without a clear understanding of the rules of the game, you would be confused, possibly to the point of boredom. How many people do you know who would attend an event they deemed confusing and boring? 

     Alternatively, if you spent some time, prior to the game, studying its rules and objectives, you might enjoy yourself; you might develop an appreciation for the sport; you might even become a fan.  Understandably, it is necessary to be attentive to the rules of a game if you wish to benefit from that experience. 

     The game to which I am referring is Tefillah, prayer.  If your goal is to attain joy and fulfillment from prayer, you must, first and foremost, study and follow the rules.  We all have religious insecurities, but by preparing ourselves for proper prayer, we help ourselves to face those insecurities. By doing so, each time we Daven we will approach the discipline with more confidence and clarity. Remember, the ultimate goal is to find joy in prayer.

    In order to take this step, it is imperative that we put aside our egos and approach the prayers as beginners, each time.  This will prevent us from becoming habitual page turners and, instead, help us to become inspired participants.

     Prayer is not a new concept.  It dates back to the beginning of time, and therefore, it is not necessary for us to try to reinvent it.  G-d gave us the rules of prayer as well as all the necessary ingredients to successfully communicate with Him.  It is our job to play by His rules, just as our ancestors have done for thousands of years. 

     Prayer represents an opportunity to stand before our Creator and to have an open, honest conversation with G-d.  In order to make the most of the prayer experience, it is necessary to remove all foreign thoughts from our minds and all physical obstacles before us.  Obviously, G-d knows our thoughts, so it would behoove us to maintain full purity of body, mind and soul throughout our prayers.

     It is for this reason that every Orthodox community around the world maintains the practice of Davening with the use of a Mechitza (a partition between the men and women).  A Mechitza is not meant to make anyone feel uncomfortable; rather, it enables us to truly be ourselves before G-d.  When we Daven, each person comes before G-d as an individual, not as part of a couple and not someone’s friend. When we come to shul we come as part of a community.  Thus, a   person can approach prayer from two different standpoints, as either an individual addressing G-d or as a congregation addressing G-d.  When we stand before Hashem in shul, we are individuals who comprise a greater community. 

     Coming to Shul is not the equivalent of going on a date with a spouse or friend.  When we come to Shul, it is G-d we are dating.  Is it possible for one to fully commit one’s love to G-d, if, at the same time, one is sharing a romantic moment with one’s spouse or partner?  Of course not.  Similarly, to sit with one’s friends and talk about sports or current events only hinders the prayers, as well as surrounding congregants.  Therefore, regardless of the distinctions of male or female, when we sit in Shul, it should never be near others that may potentially distract us from Hashem.  In fact, the Kiddush after Davening is the perfect time for socialization and interaction.  While we are in Shul, we must remember that the goal and purpose of Prayer is to achieve an absolute maximum connection to G-d. 

     The Mechitza is not just a partition.  It symbolically represents our yearning to connect to G-d without any distractions standing in the way of our prayers.  Once we take that step toward learning the rules and beauty of prayer, we can start to approach G-d with a new-found confidence which will eliminate the need to sit near a spouse or friend.  By coming to services several times per month, specifically the beginners Minyan (Learn-a-Lot Shabbat) we will be able to develop a new love for Prayer, for life and for G-d.

     Baruch Hashem, over the last two years, as we have continued to embrace the Orthodox tradition more closely than before, we have seen more than 30 new families join the Shul, and many others have begun to participate in our events and services. 

     As a result of our growing crowd, we have run out of room in the Chapel on Shabbos morning!  Often, we find ourselves adding chairs outside the door to accommodate many of our newcomers.  Currently, with our weekly Shabbos children’s program, the crowd continues to increase, Baruch Hashem!  Therefore, we have moved our Shabbos morning service from the chapel into the main Sanctuary.  Please note that in the process of our expansion to the main Sanctuary, we have continued to maintain the same separate seating arrangement as we have had over the last few years while Davening in the chapel, and we appreciate your support in maintaining it.  Let us continue to feel proud of our move into the Sanctuary, as it is a great step for BEJ, and it has been warmly welcomed over the last few months by all of our Shabbos regulars.

As we begin to learn and accept the tradition and the value of the Mechitza, may Hashem bless us with more meaningful and inspirational prayer, and may we continue to grow our Shul and our nation, both physically and spiritually. 

Editor's Note:  Rabbi Sytner is in an advanced stage of developing his congregation, Beth El Jacob in Des Moines, as a fully Orthodox shul. We wish him much hatzlacha in his holy endeavor!